something new and different..

I have WAY too many thoughts at times.  And this week was no exception.  I had to sit down and literally write out a list of everything I was thinking about just to focus on one of them.

checkbook: lost
red sweater: lost
no milk
dungeon-mess
grades
discipleship
ham bone
..

and the list went on. and on. and on.

But somehow getting it on paper seemed to help.  It didn't get anything done, but it contained it all on a piece of paper.

And rather than deciding what to do, I just decided what not to do.  Things like checkbooks and sweaters eventually turn up.  But nobody finds a fresh gallon of milk in the fridge accidentally.  And the lack of order in the dungeon IS a problem but it is not as large of a problem as wasting a perfectly good ham bone because I was too busy to make soup.

And so soup gets made and milk gets purchased, but I'm still not certain where the planner is.

And then I had this really cool revelation.

Maybe I have too much going on? 

Naw! ya think?!!

yup.  It's happened again.  Something new and different--the organizing mommy has to regroup and re-evaluate  again!!  Didn't we JUST do this?  Uffda.

The fresh, newly found energy that I found in the fall is waning in the winter.  Today it is sunny, and I'm sure I'll have a good day because of it.  But those cloudy days really do me in.  I think my husband has ordered me some kind of light to help with this.

I'll call it a "grow light"like the kind you put on little plants to get them growing before you put them in the garden.  And I'm already chomping at the bit to get outside and plant a garden.  It's that crazy layer of snow that is holding me back.

So, with all of this to look forward to in a few months, I need to stay focused on my other (inside) work so I can enjoy the spring when it does come.

Without further ado, the organizing mommy shut off her computer, got dressed, put on sensible shoes, had a decent breakfast and blitzed her life back in order.  The end.   And she found her planner, her checkbook, the red sweater and several dollars of loose change (O.K. that last one may not happen, but I can hope) !!

Oh Happy Day... 43!

O.K.  the Organizing Mommy is one year older.  And this is what I look like right now, this month,  at the ripe old age of 43.   I asked my daughter to take this picture to highlight the jewelry she made for me.  She let's me pick out the beads, and she makes the creation.  What is more special?  Having a cool piece of jewelry? or a daughter who is that talented?

So, other than the 74 facebook birthday greetings I got, does anybody want to know what I got?

Take a guess.

A car?

No.

A new house?

No.

A chicken coop?

No.  My mother forbids me from getting a chicken coop.  She is paying me not to raise chickens.

That's pretty awesome because I got my payment.  For some odd reason, it was $43.00.  My next year's payment for not raising chickens will probably be $44.00.  just guessin'

So, if I didn't get a car, a house or a chicken coop, what's left in life to want?


Remember THIS story where the ONLY THING in the whole wide world that I have every regretted getting rid of?  those favorite grey yoga pants.  I got rid of them on a fat-girl day.  It was an impulsive blitzing fat-girl day when I made the gross error of disposing of the yoga pants into the donation pile.

When I woke up out of my stupor, I had already donated that bag.  Bye bye forever favorite yoga pants.

Well... it was my actual birthday and I stopped in at one of the thrift stores and was looking for cashmere for a craft.... and I found them.  The exact brand, color and size of my favorite grey yoga pants.  I'm tellin' ya.  Did I hug on to those $3.29 pants like nobody's business..!!

So, when I told this story to my husband, he said, "So, you bought back the pants you donated? That's not very efficient."

Totally not efficient.  Except that now I have them back.

And I am reminded of a truth that I heard a while back.

Happiness is not having what you want--it's about wanting what you have.

 And sometimes.. if we accidentally loosen the reigns on something enough, we'll find out what we want and have, and gap between the two will lessen.   So, what I have received, in essence, on my special day is more than a pair of yoga pants.  It is the answered prayer of finding that which was lost and having it so vividly displayed to me in God's creative provision.

Who wudda thunk?

A tired woman flopped her blonde ponytail over the counter, as her eyes gazed downward toward the floor.  Her one hand rested on the counter and her other hand adjusted the double mechanism that held the life-giving nutrients for her baby.  The mechanism made a certain pulsating sound, methodically yet faithfully pumping her life's energy into the two little bottles that would feed her baby tomorrow.

The young woman was tired.  I knew that feeling.  I remember thinking of a huge checklist of things I needed to do when I was done feeding that baby.  At the top of the list was always eat and sleep.

But for this woman,  it was different.  She wore a red badge.  The counter was the women's locker room.  Her eating and sleeping would have to wait.  She probably had a 4:00 meeting.  When she got home, she had to fix dinner or read to her little boy.

So, while I was getting myself ready to teach my pilates class, I smiled at her and made conversation.  To lighten up the awkwardness, I said,

"I fed five of them.  Two million gallons later, I'm still here to talk about it.."

To which the normal response is "Wow!" and then a barrage of questions.

And I answer them, encouraging her in what she is doing for her baby.  Granted, I'm not a la leche league activist or something.  I'm just a mom who knows what its like to make sacrifices for her children and family.  Taking time every day to go down and pump (twice a day!) is a huge commitment.

And if you had told me (even 10 years ago) that I would somehow be in the locker room encouraging working mothers, I would have been shocked.  Wasn't it my duty to somehow be on a crusade to get everyone home with their children, homeschooling, supporting their husbands??

And yet, here I am.  I never once chastised her or even insinuated that what she is doing is wrong.  In fact, I just tried to be an encouragement.  And God gave me the freedom and peace to do just that. (And she told me so!)

So, what's the change?  Do I no longer believe in moms staying home or homeschooling for example..??  How far have I come off the wagon anyway?

If I've come off the wagon (at all) it is to this end-- to stop promoting my crusades and start promoting the Gospel of Christ.  And trust me, I always have a crusade.  If it is not pilates or organization or educating your children or feeding them better or reading aloud or ....  (whatever this week's crusade is).  In fact, a week without a new crusade means I'm sick or depressed or something.

So, I have to work against many things (internally) to just come apart from all of that and just feel the pain of someone like my little friend from the locker room.  I don't even know her name.  I can tell you the name of her husband and children, though.  That is where her heart is, and that is who she talked about.  I can tell you the sacrifices they have made to take care of these children in addition to the daily pumping.  

And so it is.  Do I think by my loving and caring for this little gal that there will be a mass exodus of stay at home moms into the workforce?  No.  If anyone is tempted to do such a thing, let me say this.  I have hardly ever met a young woman, working full time,who wouldn't love to be able to be at home with her little ones, even part time.  So crusading and preaching does no good here.  Their own exhaustion is their teacher.  And the degree to which their needs v.s. wants have dictated this decision is theirs to bear alone.

And so now, against all rationale, I have an outreach with career mommies.  Who wudda thunk?