Friday, January 9, 2009

Having Fears?

For me, Fear is not normal.  So, when I start to fear, I know something is amiss.. off kilter.. you know.. a low in chocolate or something?

This week, I had this strange experience of being afraid of teaching my regular pilates class.  I've been teaching for about a year, and I wasn't having difficulty before the break.  Then because of the holidays and snow days, it ended up being a 3 week break.  Ugh.  

All I can think of is this:
1. I've put on a little weight; nobody likes a chubby exercise teacher.
2. I can't remember a rollup from a plank.
3. The "other" exercise teachers are "better".

Ugh.  So, it was time to start teaching on Wednesday, and I couldn't tell if I was sick or my little one.  You know how mommies have that strange ability to project their symptoms on their kids and spouses?  So, I called for a sub and then later realized that neither of us was sick, but I had developed some sort of fear-of-teaching-exercise phobia.  

Incidentally, there is no name for such a phobia.  There wasn't even a fear of exercise phobia listed.  Hummph..  I can't believe it.  Anyway, I called my sweet Mom (above).  She prayed with me.  She asked me a simple question, "Is this worth it?"  

Is it worth it? Yes.  I love it.  But I put it to prayer (again) and asked God to give me a fresh vision here.  Yes, I'm a busy mom, and I do a lot of things, but I need this.  If I'm not teaching the class, I might be tempted to not go!  Also, I can be a light! and an encouragement!  I also have training, so I can help women be healthy!   It doesn't take that much time, and I do think it is worth it.  

So, I girded up my loins and put on many layers and ventured out today.  I humbled myself before the Lord and asked for help.  Yes, I have 10 pounds to lose, and yes, my knowledge is a little rusty, and there will always be someone who can do it better.  But I have THIS day to improve and give it the best I can, and I did.  I really did.  I'm back!  I'm going to teach those people, with God's help, I will.


Mrs. Parunak said...

Sounds like getbackintotheswingophobia to me. This happens to me a lot. I really like your (and your mom's) thoughts about it. If something is really what the Lord has for us, then we can plow ahead without fear.

Anonymous said...

Given the amount of people that suffer from phobias in the world it's surprising there are not more places online to offer help and advice but there is help to be found at Ofear The Fear & Phobia Forum You will find people from all over the world giving helpful advice as well as specialists from hypnotherapists, psychotherapists and mental health nurses offering their expert knowledge about phobias.

You can find a comprehensive list of phobias on the Phobia List

The Kings said...

I am totally the same way. I can do the things I am doing just fine, but if I get off track for a little while it can be so intimidating to jump back in. Thanks for the reminder that He is the one who gives us the strength to do what He has for us each day.