Friday, April 3, 2009

Just Delete it!

Here is a form of clutter that I have wanted to write about for a LONG time.

It's a forwarded email.  

Do this one Simple thing:  delete it.

Here's why.

First of all, these forwards are originally started from people you don't know or do not want to know.  They want your entire list of email addresses and other things from your computer. They want to spam you to death.  They want something FROM you.  They are not interested in helping you.  That is the basic motive for starting a forward.  

 They come in many different shapes and sizes and appeal to all sorts of random emotions. Shall we recap all of the crazy ways that people have tried to get you to forward things to your friends?  Can we look logically at all of the things that have been forwarded to us over the years?  

FEAR BASED FORWARDS:

First of all, some high-jacker in Columbia does not want your kidneys.  O.K. ?  If it were medically possible for him to anesthetize you without you knowing it, for the purposes of stealing.. a major organ (like your kidneys) why would he care enough to leave you in a tub of ice water with a phone number to call 911?  If you ever make it to Columbia with all of your organs, I hope you make it back in tact.. or at least stop by Mayo clinic on your way home!


PARANOIA BASED FORWARDS:  

Guess what?  If you do not forward this dumb email, 17 bad things will happen to you in 6 days.. etc. etc.  Who gives a rip?  Chances are 18 or 19 bad things will still happen to you no matter what you do.  You don't need to get all bad-lucky happy over not forwarding an email.. or anything else for that matter.  

EMOTIONALLY DRIVEN FORWARDS:

If you love the person who sent you this, send it back and to all of your friends too.  Sure.  Now the friend who sent it is sitting around wondering if you love them.  Guess what? we call this manipulation.  Don't manipulate your friends or let them manipulate you.  If you love your friend, send them a real greeting.  You can even talk to them in real life.. what a strange concept, I know.

PATRIOTIC FORWARDS:

These are hard for me not to forward, but it's still a forward.  If you love our great nation, forward this patriotic thing.. that wasn't really your idea anyway.  If you want to be patriotic, find a soldier or a vet and befriend them in real life.  That's patriotism. 

HUMOROUS FORWARDS:

You see these cute and funny things that you didn't write?  Aren't they funny?  Then why the obligation to forward them?  

GREED BASED FORWARDS

Here we go again.  Bill Gates is not interested in opening his wallet and dumping it in your lap. Somebody thinks you'll forward things based on greed.  I know these are hard to resist.  They look so real 

AUTHORITATIVE SOUNDING FORWARDS

These are especially popular right now.  You can sound very "smart" to your friends by telling them that someone got cancer from drinking water from a plastic water bottle that was heated up in the car.  If it is reliable, go to a medical source and the information should be documented there also.

WOW FORWARDS

Mr. Rogers was not a Navy Seal and Captain Kangaroo is not a marine, although that would be very interesting and Wow.  Trick photography makes almost anything possible, so you can't trust those wows either.  

There probably are some categories that I have totally forgotten, but I think you get the point.  You are being manipulated. If you want to pass on the information to friends, here's a better idea.

1. Find out if the information is really true. Document your source and be responsible for what goes out of your computer/ email bag.  Let your words be reliable. 

2. Copy the information and put it on a new email.

3. Blind copy everyone that you send it to so everyone's email stays private.

4. Don't suggest that they forward it.  Let it die where it lies.

If you get a lot of forwards from someone, you can send them here to read this post.  
Then you can all start an email-forwarding recovery support group together.

If you are new to blog reading, you copy this address and paste it in the email that you are sending to the person.  

See?  It was so easy to do.

I am closing comments just incase someone is hostile towards this post or they want to tell me that THEIR KIDNEYS REALLY WERE STOLEN!!    AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH



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