Monday, August 17, 2009

Making my home sing: communication

This week, Nan at Momstheword is hosting another Make your Home sing, and she was talking about nagging, or not nagging, or atleast wanting not to nag. So, it made me think: how do I communicate with my dear husband?

Well, you know how the old adage goes, opposites attract? Well, I think we tipped the scale to the ground on temperament opposition. I'm an extrovert. Wait, take that back. I'm an extrovert's extrovert. I score on the highest ranking SAN/CHLOR ( temperament test); an ENTJ on the Myers Briggs, and would probably be running a large corporation if I weren't so busy ruling the world, er... I mean, rocking the cradle.

My sweetheart, is an introvert's introvert. He's a thinker, a planner, a finisher, and just everything fabulous as far as I am concerned. He's not lazy, but he does not make a big show of things when he does them. And as you can imagine, we have different communication styles.

The best I can figure is that over time, men learn to "tune out" their wives to a certain degree. It must be a survival technique or something. And I don't blame them.

When I'm telling a story, I go through every detail about who was wearing what, and what time of day it was and all these other details, and by the end of the story, his question is always, "So who are we talking about again?" and "What happened?" Just the facts, jack.

In the meantime, I have no idea what the story was about either, after I've done all of the voices, facial expressions of everyone involved and then I burst into laughter at the funny part... and he's still processing it all. So, we survive in a strange sort of way. And he leans over and tells me "You're beautiful" and it really doesn't matter if he gets it or not.

And then he starts his story. And he starts going on about some IDG that had problems and the implications of who might have to travel where and all of this hinges on blah blah blah.. And yes, I tune him out too. "Does this mean you're going to France?" I ask.
"No, this was in Malaysia. And the budget has been cut, and our field service rep is......" and I drop off again. "So when you do travel, can I go with you?" I add.
And when he's all done, I say, "You are so smart. Thanks for being such a hard worker on your job.." and "Whaddaya want for dinner?" and the world is perfect again.

So, how do we actually get "facts" transmitted anyway? Simple, we send each other emails. I send him a "daily update" at least once a week (LOL) and he responds. We talk facts, locations, times and details.

One time we had a young man over at our house who was staying with us. Both Will and I had our laptops out, and we were sitting side by side, typing away. The young man (Eric S.) and he said, "Hey, look at you two!" And we both laughed and said, "talking is so out. We don't do that anymore, we just send each other messages.." LOL..

Of course we talk, we go on our little dates where we walk around the block together. Have I ever nagged my husband before? Sure, I probably have, but it's not something I do everyday. I have better techniques. I'm thinking of the time I wrote a large note on a pile of junk that was collecting in our bedroom. It said this:


For more of this type of stuff, go to momstheword. I need to go do my "daily/ weekly update"!!


momstheword said...

Oh I loved this, lol! I tend to be similar and give to much detail and my hubby doesn't give enough, hehehe!

He will call to tell me something, or send me a message on facebook or email me too.

And you don't have to apologize, my dear! Your suggestion was a great one and we used to do it, it's just alot harder now that the kids are older, and of course, doesn't really work with hubby.

However, love the pecan pie idea, apple pie would work with my hubby, lol!

Thank you for joining us today!

DarcyLee said...

I, too, love the pecan (cherry) pie idea! Totally original and sweet. However, my husband and I are also both polar opposites but I'm the introvert's introvert and he makes friends with just about every person he meets, and I mean friends. People always remember him and like him. Great post.

Mrs. Parunak said...

ENTJ? Fascinating. I always love finding out people's Meyers-Briggs classification. I'm an INFJ.

The Boojes said...

Fun post, and a GREAT idea about the pie...I'll have to tuck that one away and use it! =)

Jenifer said...

That looks like such fun!

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