So my first entire day was uneventful. Will was at work, and I just hung around the hotel--mainly sleeping and reading. I figured that part of my vacation should include reading a good book: If I perish by Esther Ahn Kim. Loved it. She was a Korean Christian during World War II, under persecution and later imprisoned for her faith. She refused to bow to the Japanese gods, even though it was commanded by the government to do so.
It's always a marvel to me how these true stories of suffering encourage me to want to be stronger in the faith!! So while I sit in a luxurious hotel in France, no less, eating delicate crossaints with the finest French cream and cafe au late, I read about a delicate woman in a prison cell, dying from cold and malnutrition. I sit with my dear husband over a dinner of medium-rare beef and fois gras, followed by a rich chocolate mousse and I wonder: do Miss Ahn and I share the same God?
The gracious God who provided me this trip and time away with my husband, without either of us going through undo conjuring to make it happen, still allows some couples to sit at home without these things. Who am I that he should provide so abundantly for us?
Have I not looked with envy, wicked envy, over those who have at other times had so much seemingly more than me? And now he provides this! This wonderful trip, so graciously provided with very little to worry about. And for a woman who is constantly required to make multitudes of decisions everyday, I rejoiced at the thought of not even reading the menu, and told my husband "you pick!"
And when our initial hunger was quelled, we each rembered that we had not had a real conversation in over a week. As I played out the details of the week's happenings, his eyes lowered slightly and with a half smile, "you're beautiful" in the way that always melts my heart.
And I rembered why I came. It's not about seeing the historic castles and caves and vineyards of Dijon, it was to be in love with first my God and then my Beloved...again.