Tuesday, November 24, 2009

So many kids.. so many directions..

A friend just came over for the day and had to hear about each child--what they are doing, where they are going.. and all that is important in their lives right now.

After hearing about Jamie's good news of his congressional "nomination" for the Air Force Academy (not an appointment yet) and all of the rigors that it has entailed, she sat in Emily's play space and held all of her care bears and had a tea party. And she asked,

"How do you, as a Mom, go from the Air Force Academy to Care Bear tea parties?"

I told her, "I tend to attend more Care Bear parties than Air Force Events, unless I 'm posing as a hedgehog and trying to embarrass someone.."

As far as dealing with the changes that our kids are going through, I am treating each child as an individual and the young, responsible adult that they are becoming. I am expecting them to take responsibility where they need to. As the child gets older, my parenting method is a very hands--off approach. We are guiding, and encouraging--not directing or orchestrating.

If Jamie does get an appointment for the Air Force Academy, it will be because 1) he worked hard for it and 2) God wants him there. It will not be because we have pushed him one way or the other.

And for Joanna, Hudson,Nathanael and Emily, we are attempting to help them find their little path in the world also. First and foremost, we want them to love the Lord Jesus and work hard and excel in all that is in their realm of responsibility: school work, instruments, chores, etc. We don't expect perfection--just honest to goodness hard work. We don't expect all A's--just do it well and on time. We are NOT too hard on our kids. I wouldn't be willing to expect anything unless we are willing to model the same--in our respective spheres of responsibility.

And yes, it is a little odd to be a drill sergeant one minute and Care Bear Queen the next. But God gives help. And every day he confirms to me that it really is a good decision to be at home and not chasing the dollar, even if it means a little more planning and restraint. which.. never killed anyone.
For those of you who are unfamiliar with the application process to a military academy, the nomination is the first step. It is ideal to get a nomination at the congressional level, so we are really happy it turned out that way. He still has many obstacles to actually getting an "appointment". That is his goal. I will keep you updated either way.


Roxanna said...

That is really amazing with your son. I think choosing a career in the military is extremely honorable and even more so to have a chance at the Air Force Academy is nothing short of amazing :) I am assuming you are talking about the Air Force Academy here in the Springs? We are in the Denver area are you guys from Colorado?

Becky said...

Drill sargent to Care Bear Queen - gotta love it!

Kathryn said...

You are a very wise mama. I think a lot of "helicopter parents" (that is the term used, i think) forget that their job is to prepare children to grow up & not need them!

When i was about 12 i began doing my own laundry & when my mother discovered that she went ballistic! She told me (literally) "That is my job until you go to college." She was serious!

How did she think i would acquire those skills once i reached college age? I remember she was in hospital for about a week when i was 16 & i was clueless about how to put together dinners. My father was so angry. I have spent most of my adult years struggling to master skills that should not be this hard. I still continue to strain & battle to achieve basic meals & some housekeeping.

I'm sure your children will rise up & call you blessed (someday, if not now) for the job you are doing with them.

Holly said...

Wow-how exciting for your son! My oldest is almost 14 and my youngest is 1 and I often find such amazement & amusement in how often & quickly I change roles. or sometimes do 3 or more roles at once. It sure keeps life exciting! I really enjoy reading your blog!! Holly

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Braley Mama said...

Praise Him that your son is on a great path! What blessings you have! Happy Thanksgiving!

Organizing Mommy said...

Roxanna: We live in Illinois. Kids from all over the U.S. go to the Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs. My husband is an '87 grad. I would love to meet you sometime.

Kathryn: Being a helicopter is a lot of work, don't you think? Also, God has to be Sovereign.

This is just the first step--not the final one. Even if he never gets in, he's done quite a bit of legwork for a "regular college" also. Hugs to all

Organizing Mommy said...

Roxanna: I'm having a hard time leaving a comment on your blog! Just so you know!

Erin said...

Even getting the nomination is something to be proud of. As for the other, each child teaches something new along the way. My oldest is finishing up his 4-year degree this May (he'll be barely 19 by then) and he's applied to the JET Programme to live in Japan beginning next summer. You don't push children to succeed...you just encourage them to transcend fear and take the chance.

Mrs. Parunak said...

Good advice! Having lots of different ages and stages around the house sounds like an exiting challenge.

That's wonderful news on Jamie's next step in his application process!