Monday, April 12, 2010

Fork-lore!

So, it's Jamie's 18th birthday party. It bad enough to have a party with your parents, siblings, friends and their parents, but NO, I had to go ahead and make sure that he had a little memory to take with him to college.

So, we were having fun group conversations. Shannen was telling us about her latest interest in medical mysteries. She told us about the psychology behind OCD. We were all getting entertained with fascinating stories, until Sylvia (a mom) said,

"I was watching this documentary about this women who managed to eat a fork.."

And I'm like, "WHAT? A fork? How would you ever get it down?" And then she told us more. Apparently, the gal complained of a stomach ache and they found several forks in her stomach.

You mean she got more than ONE down? Is this insane or what?

(I have researched this since the party, and there is documented evidence of a woman from the Netherlands who ate 78!!! pieces of cutlery!!!)

So, when we started eating, I warned everyone that I would be counting forks at the end of the evening! just in case.

And then I managed to tell them that I ate part of my fork just last week while I was wolfing down the salad at Hallstrom. (Except mine was plastic, and there was just a little bit of it missing from the tip) Nothing was tempting me to eat the entire fork.

Here again, think Dr. Suesss, "Oh the places you'll go"... and I thought my fork incident was unique. In fact, there is an entire list of the crazy things people eat (and live to tell about it).

So, while I was suspiciously monitoring all of my party guests and their cutlery usage, we made some small talk about other things. Soon enough, one of the families was preparing to leave.

"Oh don't let Jeremiah go! Let him spend the night and have fun with the kids!!" I begged like a little weenie, "Let him just cut loose!"

And Ken (another Dad), trying to ease the pathetic tension rising in the room between Jeremiah's parents and I said, "Why does Jeremiah need to cut loose, anyway? What does he need to do--break dancing or something?"

Which caused me to forget about all of fork monitoring and burst into laughter.

"Oh you know, I know how to break dance. I even had lessons for it," I said carelessly.

"Sure then! Go ahead and show us!"

So then I flung forward into a centipede maneuver. Went directly into the helicopter. Got up for a moon walk and finished it off with a complete body wave. (body wave is my personal fave)

If Jeremiah's parents had any doubts about whether they should leave or not, it was quickly settled at this point. Cutting loose, as it were, is something Jeremiah may never be able to do at our house.

I would have loved to have had pictures. You can ask Jenny if this is, indeed, true or not. And she will tell you. And of course, you are wondering if Jamie survived this incident or not.

I can tell you that I have spoken to his therapist, and he is completely resolved to his recovery plan which is thus: 10 minutes after he leaves home, he changing his name and not telling us what it is.

Last I heard he was going to call himself either Dick Patterson or Patrick Taylor.

So, when we call him at college, his roommate will say,

"Hey Patrick, know anybody named Jamie?"
"Nope.."

And that will be that.

Well, I'd love to chat more but I need to practice my head spins and count the spoons..


11 comments:

Braley Mama said...

i think that is soooo cool, if i were there I would have joined u:O)

Ruby said...

Uou have outdone yourself, girl!

Ruby said...

LOL. Oops...Just as I have in spelling!

Mrs. Parunak said...

Wow. You're amazing. So, OK, now we can add break dancing to knitting on the list of things I want to learn from you whenever we manage to get together in person. Thanks for telling the story. Tales of fork eating exploits and break dancing: sounds like a fabulous 18th birthday party.

Scottish Twins said...

This post is hilarious. And we definitely need video of said breakdancing!!!

Persuaded said...

*snort*



and I admit it, I clicked on that body wave link and watched the entire thing...three times! I still can't figure it out, but I think Noah will be attempting it all day long;)

Organizing Mommy said...

Well, I think my 2 minute demonstration was my ENTIRE repertoire. There was a guy who taught a break dancing class after ballet class. My friend and I were not that great at it, but it was fun. Two ballet dancers trying to "get down" isn't as pretty as you might think...

Oh, and the "therapist" mentioned is my mother.

jorth said...

Anybody who doesn't think breakdancing is cool is probably the sort of person who WOULD eat a fork!

Lesa's Life said...

Fun-ny!

Roxanna said...

Very funny post :)

Linda said...

Loved the blog.I could just picture it in my head.My 16 yr.old would love a party like that.