So, we were having fun group conversations. Shannen was telling us about her latest interest in medical mysteries. She told us about the psychology behind OCD. We were all getting entertained with fascinating stories, until Sylvia (a mom) said,
"I was watching this documentary about this women who managed to eat a fork.."
And I'm like, "WHAT? A fork? How would you ever get it down?" And then she told us more. Apparently, the gal complained of a stomach ache and they found several forks in her stomach.
You mean she got more than ONE down? Is this insane or what?
(I have researched this since the party, and there is documented evidence of a woman from the Netherlands who ate 78!!! pieces of cutlery!!!)
So, when we started eating, I warned everyone that I would be counting forks at the end of the evening! just in case.
And then I managed to tell them that I ate part of my fork just last week while I was wolfing down the salad at Hallstrom. (Except mine was plastic, and there was just a little bit of it missing from the tip) Nothing was tempting me to eat the entire fork.
Here again, think Dr. Suesss, "Oh the places you'll go"... and I thought my fork incident was unique. In fact, there is an entire list of the crazy things people eat (and live to tell about it).
So, while I was suspiciously monitoring all of my party guests and their cutlery usage, we made some small talk about other things. Soon enough, one of the families was preparing to leave.
"Oh don't let Jeremiah go! Let him spend the night and have fun with the kids!!" I begged like a little weenie, "Let him just cut loose!"
And Ken (another Dad), trying to ease the pathetic tension rising in the room between Jeremiah's parents and I said, "Why does Jeremiah need to cut loose, anyway? What does he need to do--break dancing or something?"
Which caused me to forget about all of fork monitoring and burst into laughter.
"Oh you know, I know how to break dance. I even had lessons for it," I said carelessly.
"Sure then! Go ahead and show us!"
So then I flung forward into a centipede maneuver. Went directly into the helicopter. Got up for a moon walk and finished it off with a complete body wave. (body wave is my personal fave)
If Jeremiah's parents had any doubts about whether they should leave or not, it was quickly settled at this point. Cutting loose, as it were, is something Jeremiah may never be able to do at our house.
I would have loved to have had pictures. You can ask Jenny if this is, indeed, true or not. And she will tell you. And of course, you are wondering if Jamie survived this incident or not.
I can tell you that I have spoken to his therapist, and he is completely resolved to his recovery plan which is thus: 10 minutes after he leaves home, he changing his name and not telling us what it is.
Last I heard he was going to call himself either Dick Patterson or Patrick Taylor.
So, when we call him at college, his roommate will say,
"Hey Patrick, know anybody named Jamie?"
And that will be that.
Well, I'd love to chat more but I need to practice my head spins and count the spoons..