Sunday, April 25, 2010

Good friends can even be crabby together

I was with one of my tried and true friends this weekend because her husband graciously offered to help us with some plumbing problems. Even though she didn't feel great, she wanted to come with him and support him and visit us. But she was crabby. I couldn't tell, but she told me that she was. So, rather than make her feel bad about not feeling great, I just said, "Good. Let's just be crabby then." And we had a mini gripe session, venting freely about anything and everything.

And being the ADD hedgehog that I am, I said, "Hey, look at those pretty tulips!' ( I can't even focus on being crabby for very long, even..) And it made us burst into laughter. So, we had to take a break from being crabby to enjoy the tulips. And we decided to get lunch, have a Starbucks, and watch a hilarious movie after we got home. She managed to beat me on Scrabble (but only by 10 points!) and before you know it, the crabby moments of the earlier part of the day were 10 million years ago.

Wouldn't life be nice if you could say "I'm crabby" for a little time each day or whenever it hits and just get to the bottom of it, rather than let it nag on all day? Let's face it: we're human.

The human body, mind, soul and spirit are this big snarl of inner connected thoughts, hormones, synapses, and chocolate. How are we even supposed to know why we are crabby? Is it bad nutrition? is it something spiritual? is it chemical? is it lack of sleep? or lack of coffee?

I'm at the point in my life where I'm not even interested in getting to the bottom of the WHY in all this. If the Lord makes it obvious to me about myself as to what I need to get myself whole again, I will do it. If I'm with someone and I can sense what they need, I try to help them get to it. But I don't force the issue. In other words, life does not have to be perfect.

God does a lot of teaching and helping of people when they are in a less than perfect state--probably because that's the way most of us are at any given time. If we get so caught up in trying to create a perfect world for ourselves, our kids, our friends, etc., maybe we are shortchanging God's opportunities to deal with that person in that low state.

It takes faith to accept this concept. But accepting someone in a low state is not the same as ignoring their needs altogether. We are given friends as a test for our love for God. God wants to love them through us. We can show love for God by loving those he has put in our lives. It's when we have come to the end of our resources and creativity on helping a person that we have permission to let go of this perceived responsibility of making their world perfect in order for them to achieve happiness.

God's greatest work in someone is not their happiness level; it's their holiness level. And we are not responsible for either. God will just do his little bit through you, using whatever gifts, creativity, resources and insight you have. And we can allow the healing to take place in God's perfect timing.

And that is just what I want to do.

Make my home sing Monday at Moms the Word

Monday: clean out fridge soup
Tuesday: Butter chicken and Indian collard greens
Wednesday: taco salad
Friday: Moose and polenta


momstheword said...

Yes, we never know how the Lord is going to use a difficult situation (or even our crabby behavior) to teach us something!

I liked what you said here: "maybe we are shortchanging God's opportunities to deal with that person in that low state."

Absolutely! Maybe what they really need is to just draw closer to Jesus and trust Him for the situation, instead of our getting involved.

Thanks for linking up today.

Becky said...

Ah, I love that last paragraph. "God's greatest work in someone is not their happiness level; it's their holiness level." I love that. I may have to quote you (with a link of course) sometime. I like the next sentence as well.
This was a very good post.

Herding Grasshoppers said...

Love this sentence -

God's greatest work in someone is not their happiness level; it's their holiness level.

You really, really want to move out west, don't you? Because there's a house for sale just kitty-corner down the block. ;D

RogersUIO said...

Are you really going to eat moose on Friday? Or did you just add that in to see if I'd read to the end of your post? :)

Mrs. Parunak said...

I'm going to join Becky and Herding Grasshoppers and say that that was my favorite part, too. Good point!

Kelly L said...

Wonderful post - it's hard to be crabby when you're laughing with a good friend...

Love to you