Have you ever been so depressed, so discouraged, so overwhelmed, so..? and you happen to live somewhere, and then you move? That's kind of what North Dakota represents for me.
It's not like there was nothing good that happened there. It's not like we didn't meet a ton of great people; we did. But... things were not "right" in my life.
If you've ever been a military wife, you know the drama of having to pack up and move (often!). Sometimes you are not wanting to leave, and other times, you are ripe and ready to go.
So, when we had four little ones, a big country home on 10 acres, and a stable job for my husband, you think I would have been as happy as a clam. No, I was just plum overwhelmed.
So, it's really easy for me to look back now and see why it was such a hard time. We've lived in Rockford for almost 10!! years now. Prior to moving here, the longest we ever lived anywhere was about three years. We have been out of the military for over 12 years--is that possible?
And yet, there is a side of me that still has nightmares about North Dakota. Why?
So, my kids know that when I am looking for something to complain about, I will often revert back to North Dakota. After all, it's easy to pick on (it doesn't fight back), and it's so far away (16 hours by car?) and it's so easy to pick on an area that has 40 degrees below zero!
So, despite my unhealthy relationship with a mere area of land, I am contemplating facing my fears and going back into the battle zone. (Jamie told me that they'll do this with veterans to get them over their fears. They will send them back to the location of the battle to help them get over things..)
So, what am I going to do? Well, there's this discipleship camp that Jamie went to last year that is in North Dakota. I must admit that I sorta sent him there as a "punishment" for being a sass last year. It ended up that he loved it. It was no sweat for him to be there; in fact, he really wants to go back. So, I am contemplating driving him out there and helping out at the camp in some way.
First, I have to see if they need my help, and then I have to get over my fears of going there. But it will be good, AND it will be summer. Summer is a great time of year in North Dakota.
See? I'm psyching myself up for it. Just because everyone in North Dakota knows that I'm a basket case doesn't mean that I can't redeem myself in ONE week. What am I thinking? The entire internet knows I'm a basket-case, so why do I care about one little state?
Hey, if there is anyone who reads this from North Dakota, it's not your fault, nor is it your state's fault that I am a basket case!! Whew! Felt good to get that off my chest!
This is what is making my house sing Mondays..