When I got the call, a very unusual peace came over me. I knew intellectually that this is the sort of thing that causes waves of various emotions. All I could feel is the peace of God. I felt so close to God the entire time.
Many people have a deep understanding of the Sovereignty of God in relation to their salvation, but very few people have a peace about the Sovereignty of God in relation to the events in which there is no control. And if they happen to acknowledge God's power over these events, they also make him out to be a monster--a God who is totally non-plussed about what is good or bad.
Have you seen this? Have you experienced this? I know I have in the past. When something happens that I totally can not get my head around, my default emotion is to assume that God's wrath has somehow come down to "get" me. What KIND OF God do we serve anyway?
If we can not see the LOVE of God in every decision he makes, we are the most miserable creatures on earth--serving under the servitude of the biggest, most powerful monster imaginable. No wonder our children leave the faith for something "better" ????
I think I would also. And so this begs the question, so what IF the boys had died? What would our view of God be now? I can tell you this: I would be saddened beyond belief. The entire focus of this blog would be about this tragedy and me getting over it. I am not strong, and everyone knows it. I am one of the most emotionally fragile people I know, despite what everyone sees.
But here is something.
God had given me the peace which surpasses understanding. There is no peace as great as God can give. And he confirmed it to me in this way.
The very next morning on the Today Show, I saw our friends, Don and Susie Van Ryn being interviewed by Matt Lauer. (This video is a must see)
So, the morning after OUR accident there they were again on T.V. telling people about this tragic and yet beautiful time of God's love.. If I could summarize what Matt Lauer said to them,
"The thing that amazes me about you, Don and Susie, is your faith--your deep relationship with God.."
Don and Susie had the opportunity to say that the object of their faith is "Jesus Christ" in front of millions of viewers.
It's almost to say that Matt Lauer was saying, without really saying it is this: I've heard a lot of stories from religious fanatics and people talking about answered prayer, but I have never seen forgiveness like this. I have never seen peace and trust in the goodness of God... like this. I will never forget you.
And so, seeing this interview so close after the car accident with our boys, reconfirmed to me that even in the midst of tragedy, God's goodness is alive. God has used it, and will continue to use their story to touch many people with the message of the Gospel.
And here we are--WITH our children. We are doing boring things--putting in a garden, finishing up the bathroom construction, sipping coffee in my pj's and blogging, and doing laundry. In general, we are enjoying the goodness of God in a way that I can only describe as blissful. And yet, my heart goes out to Don and Susie. Does TIME ever take away their loss?
Incidentally, the Bible Camp where they are devoting their time to right now, is the same camp that I made my first profession of faith at: The Upper Peninsula Bible Camp in Little Lake, MI. Will and I had dinner in their home about 20 years ago, when we were dating. I am thrilled--thrilled beyond belief at how they are serving the Good God that they know even more intimately than they ever did.