So, you know I can hardly leave my living room without having something funny happen, let alone go all the way to Germany..
As it was, Will and I traveled separately on different planes, on different airlines, no less. Everyone wanted to know why we did such a thing. Was it because we have so many children and one plane could crash and the other might survive? At least the kids would have one surviving parent? No. They give us way too much credit for thinking and planning.
It has to do with the fact that he is required to fly with certain carriers since he is in the aviation industry, and this was a business trip. And I? I am on a hedgehog budget and graciously accepted the cheapest flight, in hopes that our tax refund would cover it as well as the new paneling for the basement bathroom remodel. Glamorous, I know.
So, the reality of the situation is that I am let "loose" for several hours to make friends with perfect strangers all across the world.
I think I told you about my German history friend? Actually, it was such a great thing meeting him, since I had done ZERO research about the country before the trip. Well, Wolfgang, (Yes, that was his name!) told me that he was starting to feel sick as the plane was descending.
And I'm thinking, "Oh no you don't, pal. We're going to fix this straightaway!"
So, I put on my quick thinking mothering cap and said, "You really don't feel sick. Let me tell you some funny stories." I quickly put on his air and by that time, I was feeling so tired from not sleeping on any of my flights, and it was the equivalent of 3:00 a.m. Chicago time, that I just closed my eyes and proceeded to tell him crazy stories.
Normally, it doesn't take much effort for me to be a standup comic (or in this case, a sit-down comic) but it was all I could do to keep my mind focused. I had to dig deep into my hedgehog stories. I think it was working because I heard him laugh a few times.
And if I hadn't blogged about all of my stuff, no doubt nothing would be coming to mind. So, thanks for keeping me blogging. It saved me from getting barfed on. And I highly recommend having a few weird stories under your belt for such occasions.
If you don't have any material of your own, just look at life around you. It IS funny. People are funny. You are funny. I know I am. Funny looking, often. And then I can put it back together again neatly. Makes me feel like I've accomplished something for the day--putting my hair down for example.
Speaking of hair, I just want you to know that I got a compliment on my hair by one of the young gals I met at the Gala event. She liked the color. O.K. this was hard. I color my hair, you know? And to make it worse, the grey roots are peeking through. Whatever. The lights were dim, and she wanted to be nice, I guess.
Speaking of nice, today is my mother's birthday. I'm trying to remember how old she is. I think she is 65. Yup. 65. I just did the math. I tried to call her, but she is probably at exercise class, or quilting, or having a birthday party with her friends or picking up little old ladies at the mall, asking them if they need a ride somewhere.
On the way home flight, I found the need to move around and do some pilates at the back of the plane. The flight attendant was on to me, and kept telling me that the "fasten seatbelt sign" was ON.. hint hint.. So, I went back to my seat and kneeled up and faced the people behind me. Surely, they could handle a little bit of conversation. And that's where my mother comes in.
I get to missing my mother on these long trips, you know? Mom and I talk all the time on the phone, and a week seems way too long to go without talking to her! So, if I can't be WITH my mother, I can at least talk about her, eh?
"So, you know" (I say to a perfect stranger) "my mother was not fond of me going to Germany"
"Oh, really?" (perfect stranger wondering what on earth is going on..)
"Yeah. She thought I should be home sweating every detail of my son's upcoming graduation party. I mean really. Just because it's on Friday, and we're having 200 or so people coming, does not mean I shouldn't be in Germany"
"yeah. It's that generation. They want to sweat the details, you know."
Me: "And my mom is really a saint. She always stays at my house when she comes to visit. I'm not sure I could handle that. I think I'll take a hotel when I go visit my kids."
Me: "But I can always tell when the visit is getting to her. She will say a few classic lines. Here's the first one.
Honey, I don't know HOW you DO IT.
"And here's another classic line that she says when one particular child is getting on her nerves,"
You see that child there? YOU have a LOT of patience with HIM!
"And my favorite line of hers, when she thinks I'm making a bad decision is
I'll be anxious to see HOW THIS WORKS OUT.
"So, you can see, my mom and I get along famously. I am very excited to be a grandma someday.. let's say in the next 10 years or so. But I think I'll take a hotel when I go and visit--especially if they have..let's say... three sets of twins or something."
My new best friend sitting behind me told me I needed to be a "stand up". I thought the flight attendant told me to be a "sit down". Now I'm confused. Nevertheless, nobody got sick and I didn't make any enemies that I know of.
But for now, I look forward to my mother's visit--tomorrow. And she really is my best friend (in a mom sort of way) and we will knock out every detail of this graduation party, even though I went to Germany.
And I'll be anxious to tell you how this all works out.