Thursday, August 12, 2010

Great things that my mom says

If you haven't met my Mother, I'm so sorry for you. She's really neat. The only problem is that she owns her own language. She has many special things she says. Some of which I can interpret for you and others.. well.. I'll just use my best guess. I am going to give you a Grandma Dictionary, complete with sample sentences. There will be a vocabulary test at the end of the post.

Without further ado, the "mother tongue"

1)bonkos pronounced like "broncos"

adjective/ definition: abundant, with great speed, ambition, growth or velocity

"Those tomato plants really went bonkos." or "Don't tell your father that; he'll go bonkos."

2) borcoli pronounced like "bork-a-lee"
noun/ def: broccoli, those little tree-looking vegetables

"Shall we have steamed borcoli with our grilled pork chops?" or "I've noticed you've got some borcoli growing down there in the garden next to those brussel sprouts."

3) pewcon: pronounced "Puke-on"
noun/ definition: coupon.

"I had a 40% off pew-con for Kohl's, and I brought Jamie some new towels for school." or
"I thought I had that receipt for Penneys, and there it was, right next to the Joann's pewcon"

4)gunky: pronounced like "funky"
noun/ definition: a blob of something that is stuck to something else.

"I noticed you had some gunky down there. I hope you don't mind that I used a spatula to get it up."

5) gradoo or gradooey pronounced like they sound.
noun/ def: see gunky.

"There was some gradooey on Nathanael's shirt, but the ole Stainmaster, Grandma, was able to get it out."


When Grandma wants to steam some vegetables, she looks for:

a) an onion
b) gradooey
c) borcoli

When Grandma wants to get a good deal, she uses her:

a) checkbook
b) credit card
c) pew-con

When grandma has a spatula in her hand she is:

a) making pancakes
b) using it as a make-shift fly swatter
c) getting gunky off the floor.

Scoring: If you answered "C" for each question, you are correct. You can speak "Grandma Jude".


The dB family said...

Lol! Does your mom go to the libeary? Mine does! Thank you for the chuckles. Isn't it neat how we're all different?


Ruby said...

Always love it when you post about your mum!

Becky said...

Too funny!!
I can make absolutely no complaints, or pick on how my mom talks, because I talk like my dad. She and dad were both raised in NC, but he was from the country, and she was from the city. She fought tooth and nail to keep my brothers and I from pronouncing certain words "too country".
yeller - It's the name of a dog, not a color!
piller - It's used to hold up a building; it's not what you put your head on at night! (For the record, she knows how to spell it, but we were young and didn't-it just helped to get her point across)
There were others; these were just my two favorites.
And she was somewhat sucessful. We no longer say piller and yeller; we say pilla and yella.

Jenny P. said...

My hubby always teases me, because I call the candy "nim-a-nims." I can say m in any other word -- just not there!

Kathryn said...


My favorite off words are croggled & smizzle.

Croggled, of course, is an object that is off or twisted. "That shelf isn't straight. Look how croggled it is." I don't know where croggled came from but it isn't just me. I know Stephen King used it in one of his books.

Smizzle is a cross between snow/sleet & drizzle so that it is a nasty stuff coming down, but just barely. (Duane hates this word.) "Well, it is getting cold & it is starting to smizzle." (Duane, "It is NOT smizzling. I don't see any smizzle!") Smizzle is my dad's word.

"Crik" always bothered me. "Let's go play in the crik." It is pronounced "creak"!

Mrs. Parunak said...

This is so charming! I especially like the borcoli.

sara said...

Those are pretty good! My grandma says "asparagris" as in those long, pointy vegetables and "levermind" meaning, "Please disregard what I just said."

Her brother, my Uncle Harold (not the snowman), used to say "terlet" instead of "toilet" and "berl" (that's boil) and "toity toid street."