Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Roscoe or Moscow?

So, it's about this plumbing crisis we had this weekend. Not to keep going on and on and on about it, but there are some rather comic relief moments in this crisis that have not yet been reported. And knowing me, the next crisis is right around the corner, so if I don't get this all documented, we'll slide right into the next one without fully processing the first one. (And THEN my therapist will be thoroughly overwhelmed...... won't you, Mom?)

Anyway, when I called my neighbors in the middle of the night, I was trying to build up enough of a case for him to come over.

I thought about telling him that the mice who reside in my basement were going to need a canoe soon, if he didn't come over and help. But that didn't sound exciting enough.

I thought if I made big gushing and wooshing sounds to imitate the sound of the sewer pipe gushing its guts into my dungeon would produce the right amount of emotion to launch him from his cozy bed.

But instead I tried the sympathy technique.. "and Will is in Moscow, and I don't know what to do!!!"

So the next day arrives. I'm not really sure if his wife, Shirley told him that Will was out of town, since I talked to her first. So, I thought I should make it clear that Will wasn't home, just to be proper and that he would see that I was a helpless waif who was in desperate straits.

So, I called over there at 10:00 a.m. just to notify them that we were up and ready to work on actually fixing the pipes whenever he was available. (no pressure, but get it done...soon... please...) And then I added,

Me: "So, I am not sure that you heard, but Will is in Russia"

Carl: "Russia? Shirley said he was in Roscow"

Me: "Roscoe? You thought Will was in Roscoe? " (a town about 10 miles away)
"It's Moscow! You know, the Soviet Union? (the old Soviet Union) Russia?"

Carl: "Oh, he's not in Roscoe?" (laughing nervously)

Me: "What did you think? Why would will be stuck in Roscoe and not be able to get home and fix the plumbing? Tell Shirley to call off the prayer chain. The marriage is intact!"

And after all that, he still came over, even though we are this insane family, whose husband hangs out in a town 10 miles from home and refuses to come home to fix the sewer pipe at 3:00 a.m. !! Now that redefines Christian charity, don't you think?

I love Carl, but I will say this--I think he needs to get out more.. some place far far away.. like Pecatonica. ROFL.


Mrs. Parunak said...

This one had me laughing so much. Poor Carl must have thought Will was nuts refusing to drive those ten miles to rescue you from raw sewage. Oh dear. It's good you thought to ask if he knew will was in "Russia." If you'd said "Moscow" again, he might still not have gotten it.

Herding Grasshoppers said...

Oh. My. Word.

You need a hidden camera. They couldn't make this stuff up!

Bake Carl some cookies :D


Ruby said...

Glad I came over for another mad cap episode!
Oh - and I love that your mum is your therapist! Just as it should be. Carry on....

The dB family said...

Lol! I was wondering if maybe Carl needed a hearing aid. He is such a good neighbour!