Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Last year's planner

I was cleaning up my room this morning, and I stumbled on last year's planner. It was missing its bright green cover, the pages were strewn, sort of half in, half out of the stretched-out wire binding. There were coffee, water and chocolate stains on various pages. The dates were in blue, red, black and purple in neat, messy and scribbled entries.

I was reminded when my entire water bottle soaked through the planner on my way home from Berlin.. what a fun trip!

I was reminded that I had tried to do a Bible study with a young gal who was wed, pregnant and separated at the ripe old age of 19..

And I almost forgot that my blogging friend, Jenny, came to visit us in April of last year..

Or how many events we had to attend for Jamie's senior year and military scholarship pursuits.

Or I went to Moody with Will last year to learn about counseling!


If I were to judge the year on the condition of my planner, I would say--now, that was a wash.. hopefully, this year will be better. neater. less haphazard. more controlled.

But it won't happen.

You know why? Because I'm the one planning, living out, and changing plans.

So, if success can be defined by merely making a plan and sticking to it, I'm not joining that success club. If fact, I'm running for president of the opposite club. The people who like to make plans and see how it goes--club.

In fact, routine makes me nervous. Well, too much routine does. I like a few things to be planned, but if every detail of every day gets planned, then I get nervous.

I need creative time. Free time. Sunset time. coffee time. snuggle time. I think it is a missing element in our culture. Nobody eats and enjoys the food anymore. We gobble. burp and get ready for the next thing.

The calendar says I'm getting older this month, but I don't believe it. I'm going to train myself to stay young--young in spirit and in heart. I'm not going to let other people's hang-ups prevent me from really living.

I've had more than one person say, "Don't laugh so loudly. People are looking.."

Let them look. Nobody has ever died by looking at someone laugh. or cry. or ask a question.

It's fine already. You aren't hurting someone else by being a human being. In fact, many people are helped by it.

So, getting back to the planner.. am I going to make plans? Of course I am. I teaching this and that pilates class here and there. I'm doing all sorts of stuff for this long or that duration. But really. Life is what happens while you are making plans. Plans are just a highway. Sometimes the car of life needs to take a side road. The side roads are often just the thing we need.

So, while plans, resolutions, commitments and activities usually adorn our New Year's schedule, may I not forget to take the side road once in a while.

May the Lord give each one of you guidance as you plan your highways, and special discernment for when it's time to give the car a stop and look for scenery.

To another year of sightseeing!


Amy A. said...

What a good reminder not to let the almighty schedule dictate my life...to be real and let others be real...gonna think on that side road thing awhile and figure out where to stop the car and go enjoy the scenery, too!

Lesa's Life said...

Well said!

Mrs. Parunak said...

Amen! Plans were made to be changed as necessary.