Wednesday, August 24, 2011

And we're off!!

There's no way to prepare yourself for the wave shock of starting a new school year.  In our family we go from 0-100 in under a week, most of it happening the day or so prior.

So, what do I mean?  Well... I got this call on SATURDAY night.

"Hey our teacher for preschool art is very sick, and we need a teacher.."  (for the entire semester)

Thankfully when the message was on the answering machine, they did not hear me say "NOWAY, uh uh.. and NO"

And then I got to thinking.  As crazy as this sounds, I probably should do this.  I have too many adults in my life right now anyway.  I need to reconnect with the little people of this world.  My Emily was all excited about being my "helper" for this project.  In fact, she went around collecting things all over the house to help me get started.

I didn't even have the heart to tell my mother this yet.  My mom is so good with little people.  Maybe I could just transform myself into my mother for an hour each week??

Anyway, I took the bull by the horns and wrote out a plan.  Each week there will be a color theme.  So, this week, the color was RED.  I had red objects for them to look at, I gave them each ONE red marker and one page to color.  I gave them some red food to sample: apples, strawberries, and strawberry twizzlers.

I brought my big bell.  I scared the moms into thinking they had to help me.  I scared the kids into thinking they had to listen to me.  I scared all of the siblings of the kids into thinking they had to help me too.

And I came up with a child questionnaire for each parent to fill out.  It had really awesome questions like this:

Small motor development:

Does your child know how to hold a crayon or pencil?

Is your child safe with scissors?

Can your child use a glue stick?

Do they want to eat it?

I haven't fully recovered enough from the first day to actually get the surveys out and read them.  But I will.  I have to because next week is YELLOW.  And I am no chicken.  I'm going to dress like one though to complete the theme, probably.   But as far as having a good first day in preschool art, I think it was a success, even though I didn't say EVERYTHING that I might have wanted to.  I'm sure the message was clear.  But just incase it wasn't:

Here's what I didn't say but wanted to.....

And where will you be (EXACTLY) if your child: wets his pants, throws up, throws a tantrum, kills someone, or takes off all of his clothes?  Because I will not tolerate these things.  And if you think this is a daycare, think again.  The first mom who complains about the way I do things is signing up to teach.  So there.

With a Mary Poppins attitude like this, I think I should probably teach others how to run a preschool, eh? What's with that high pitched sing-song voice that all those early-education people have anyway? Tell the kids what you expect and then expect them to do it. You don't need to make a song out of everything.   When I ring the bell, I expect you to sit down on the line and be quiet.  When I say "Color this with a red marker" that's what I mean.  There aren't a lot of other options.

So, next Tuesday is yellow.  If every preschooler out there is not wearing yellow, I'm going to be upset. In fact, if any body who reads isn't wearing yellow,  there will be consequences. just sayin.

How's that for fun?


Jenny P. said...

"Do they want to eat it?" LOL. I'm enjoying this. Have fun with the kiddos!

Anonymous said...

O.M. you are so funny! Kndg Art Nazi has a soft ring to it. Lighten up Honey and be blessed! You are never as brassy and tough as you try to "paint" your self - Your sing-songie love the little kiddies Mom :-)

Herding Grasshoppers said...


I always loved Kindergarten Cop and I'm not a sweet-soft-fluffy-sing-songy-voice person either. Ahem.

Have fun!

Steve B. said...

I read this out loud to Yvonne and Carissa. They were laughing at your humor.

Yvonne said...

David loved your class. In fact today (Wed.) he was all ready to do YELLOW art class! He was so bummed when I told him we have to wait until next Tuesday. He even informed me that blue comes after yellow in that book you showed them. There's more - Stephie said her best class all day was being a helper in preschool art. Way to go!

Organizing Mommy said...

Steve and Yvonne: I have a great idea for David's preschool art lesson videos. It's going to involve the entire family though.

Mrs. Parunak said...

Ha! You're awesome. Despite my having perfected the sing-song voice in all my little pre-ballet classes I taught years ago, something tells me you won't have the discipline problems I did.