Friday, September 23, 2011

How to flirt for the socially inept

You all know that I work with teenagers and young people, so this should be no surprise to anyone that I am expert "flirt watcher" and have the pulse on all of my kids, as well as all of yours.  We tend to call it "mom-coptering", and it is serious business.

Now, let's just get one thing straight.  Flirting is not just for the extroverts.  There are plenty of socially introverted people who make pretty good flirters.  But it takes on a new form.

And I am going to be "such a mom" and expose the world to a real life situation.

"Did you notice how close this girl was sitting to you in class?"  (me-- to one of my kids)

"Yes, I knew you would figure that out that she liked me.."

"So, it's true??  She likes you?  How do you know?" (me-heartrate pulsing, hot flash starting)

"Last week.  She just kept looking at me from across the room.. for the whole hour"

"So, do YOU like HER? "  (having a complete mother meltdown..)

"No.  But I knew that you would notice that she likes me.."

"Just because she is flirting?"  (hoping that my son has his head on his shoulders..)

"Is THAT really flirting?  Looking at someone and sitting next to them?  "

"Yes, for people without social skills,  THAT is flirting"

"Mom, I think you should write a book: Flirting for the socially inept"...

So, yes, I am writing about how to flirt for the socially inept.  If you have no words to say, you can always stare a guy down, sit by him, sit close to him while you are sitting next to him, hope that somehow your "accidental" gestures will cross with his enough to touch him and Voila! a relationship has blossomed!

Here are some other things that don't involve social skills: texting, facebook comments, and generally stalking them either by following them around or just hanging out where they are hanging out.  You can try dressing immodestly or showing a little cleavage.  It all helps.  In fact, you don't even need to be a Christian to get a young Christian man distracted.

See?  No wonder parents of teenagers go grey, take blood pressure meds, have midlife meltdowns, and need to go on cruises once in a while.  Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhh.....

Boys, if SHE is hitting on YOU, think twice.  What does this say about HER character?


MommaMindy said...

My husband has been preaching at Story Book for the past ten summers. Every summer we have had one or more attractive teenage daughters or sons with us. We have mastered your fine art of KNOWING who likes our kids. It is hilarious!

I also try to warn my kids about sending and receiving signals and how to keep the relationship as a brother and sister until the time is right for more. Not all parents teach the same things, that is usually when these situations arise. Or the kids aren't following their parents guidelines.

But, beware parents, if someone bolding writes they love your daughter with black marker on the bottom of a bunbed when they're 15, he could be your son-in-law some day! :) True happily ever after story in our family.

Organizing Mommy said...

OH Mindy!! ROFL!!! I'll have to search under bunkbeds to see what is up with our kids! Thanks for the warning! You guys are definitely the experts with your gorgeous children! This is uncharted territory for us! I suppose it is about time, eh?

sara said...

Socially inept flirting worked for me and DH! I chose to let him know that his attention would be welcome. We've been married fourteen years now. Of course, knowing what I know now, I'd have done things differently. Then again, knowing what I know now, I'd never have met or married him at all.

Here's something funny though: one of the conversations we had while we were getting to know each other was about how he finds flirty women manipulative.

I still don't know how I feel about that. I mean, isn't flirting just paying attention and being sweet to someone? It's fun to flirt, isn't it? I think I need to flirt with my husband some more and see if he likes it any better now.

Ruby said...

You are onto it, Jena! Good for you.
A cruise.....hmmmmm yep, that should destress me!

Organizing Mommy said...

Sara-- you have some good thoughts. I have no advice. It's not that there won't be the external things that attract the opposite sex to each other--that's normal. But there should be more than just attraction physically. So, it is hard to get to the bottom of whether or not they have a godly character without going into meaningful conversation in some way or another. Flirting (as I've defined it) is more or less the superficial ways of getting to know someone.

Mrs. Parunak said...

Ha! You must get an eyeful at that school of yours. Maybe once the kids get to know you a little more they'll let you educate them a bit on the non-value of this sort of behavior.

singtothelord2 said...

I was chuckling as I read this and then glanced over to see an add for "Barbie Princess charm school" said "find the hidden princess in your girl" or something like that...