Thursday, December 8, 2011

Reason #483 why I don't like teen dating..


Enough said. Teen dating rarely results in marriage.  There are a few good exceptions, but most teens are not ready for marriage.  I can hardly think of any teenager that I know that is READY for marriage.

So, what if their parents are on-board?  supportive ?  Just because parents are delusional does not mean make it right.

Delusional?  Don't you think that is a strong accusation? No. I .Don't.  Teenagers are fully developed sexually.  Are we expecting them to not be attracted to each other? Are we expecting that their sense of what is right is going to just "take over" in the heat of the moment? what? !

 Oh, I know.  Jesus is going to come down and do a miracle and stop these kids from having sex and curb their sexual cravings right in the nick of time?  Fat chance.

More likely, the kids are going to be tempted to have "just as much fun as they can" without getting caught or going all the way for as long as they can.  And then the guilt.  The guilt!  And there should be guilt.

And why is it that you (as parents) are encouraging this, again?

And then the inevitable happens--the breakup.  If the kids are not ready emotionally for marriage, what makes you think they are ready for divorce?

Well?  Isn't that what a breakup is?  It's a HUGE emotional let down for everyone.  It's a huge problem for everyone involved.  If the couple was engaged in physical activities, the problem is compounded even more so.  What do you do with all of these physical desires (that used to be asleep) and are now alive and craving?  What do you do with the huge emotional void that is created when you realize your best friend (and maybe only friend if you have shut off all other friends) is gone?

I don't know.  If you are a teen and you are going through this, I feel for you.  I can hardly think of a worse thing other than losing a parent or something.  If you are a parent, wake up!

Let your kids be kids! Encourage them to form good friendships!  Love them so they don't need to go searching for emotional security!  Can we try that, folks?  When they are ready for marriage, then we'll talk.    


Mrs. Parunak said...

Pretty much. I would add that if a person is fully developed sexually, parents had better be all about helping them get fully developed mentally, emotionally, and spiritually as quickly as possible. Our culture has delayed adulthood and adult responsibilities (like a committed marriage) longer and longer and longer into ridiculousness. Our kids should be kids when they ARE kids, and by the time their bodies are grown up, their brains shouldn't be far behind. The sexual doesn't sleep very soundly.

Becky said...

Oh - I agree with you so much!! The first time my daughter's fiance spoke with me about her I told him he needed to spend some time (preferably a lot of time) just getting to know her. It meant a lot to me, that even though he came from a "normal" public school/family background, he honored my wishes and spent a year getting to know her before approaching us again about seeing her, and then further honored our wishes with regard to courting vs dating. That was three years ago, and though they did start courting when she was 17 and he was just about to turn 20, they knew the seriousness of it right from the start. We've been blessed by the whole experience and look forward to their wedding this coming June.

Organizing Mommy said...

Mrs. P--Well.. that's what we're TRYING to do with our own children, and the result has been a choice to keep that part of their lives "asleep" as my wise daughter has said. "Mommy, it's not that we don't notice the things that the other kids notice. It's just that we are choosing to keep this part of our lives "asleep" for now.." And with that sort of maturity, I think that when they do "wake up" there will have been plenty of time for the brain, responsibilities, etc. to have developed. And we are seeing progress!

And Becky--I totally agree with you too! A 17 year old MAY very well be ready--especially the way you've trained your kids and set boundaries with the young man. What a blessing to have a Christian wedding coming up! Yeah!!! Good on 'ya, Mama.

The dB family said...

Very well said!!! I couldn't agree with you more. In fact as soon as I finish commenting, my son will be reading this. He's already said that he doesn't have time for dating in highschool. I hope/pray that he sticks to that comment!


Organizing Mommy said...

Deborah-- right on! It's so hard for the kids to take this strong stance when a lot of their friends and adult-friends alike are encouraging dating. I encourage him to stand strong. The more people we meet, the more pain we see when young people have gotten involved to o young and too far. :(

Herding Grasshoppers said...