Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Unexplained peace

You know when something happens that you knew would eventually happen?  And in your anticipation of that thing, you assume you will react a certain way?

Well, it's not always the way you assumed.  I just assumed I would be very sad. very distraught. very something..?  over my Grandma Mary's passing.  Not so.

I have this unexplained calmness and peace that is just so permeated every area of my life.  It's like her passing has given me what I lacked in my spirit or something.  I'm just taking it to be from God.

I'm not questioning it.  I'm just basking in it.  It's like in my mind I am thinking-- now I have her with me more.

So, I will just continue with these happy memories for one more post, or until I run out of things to say.

One thing I remember about my Grandma is that sitting on her lap was not an option; it was a requirement.  If I passed by her, I had to stop for a lap-sit.  And this didn't stop when I was 10 or something.  It continued long beyond what was normal.  Except it was normal for us.

So, I was about 17 or 18, and I was on a mandatory lap-sit.  And Grandma was rubbing my back.  She looked at me in all seriousness,

"When did you start wearing a bra??"

(like.. when I was 12 or something)

"Just last week, Gram.  I was going to tell ya.."

That was Gram.  If my parents were always referred to as "kids", I'm not sure what me, my husband and children are.  LOL.

And so I grew up.  But she didn't.  She stayed the exactly the same.  How a person can look the same at 50 and at 91 is beyond me.  But we didn't question it.

When I was little, my Gram told me she was 39, and I just believed her.  Until my Dad turned 39.  Then I started to suspect something was up.  But it wasn't because she didn't look 39.

It's all about the Noxema.  She wore Noxema on her face, every night before going to bed.  I'm not sure what to make of it.  But one day, when I was about 11 or so, I was following my Grandma's example and washing my face with it.

My Dad said, "You're not going to give those pimples a chance!"  trying to be funny, and it is.  But I coiled into some teenage shell over the thought.

When Will and I started our friendship/ courtship, Grandma described him as a "good guy"-- meaning someone who wasn't going to be a jerk or a wife-beater and someone who would get up and go to work every day.  Indeed.  She had a good sense of people's character, and in this case, Gram's estimation of my dear husband proved to be true.  He was far more than just a non-slug, he has been a true example of Christian love and provision.

When the Lord gave us children,  Will and I had been married just under a year.  I was fairly young.  I was surprised at how involved my Dad and Grandma were about the breastfeeding issue.  My Dad had more to say about it than even my mother, which is still (to this day) rather surprising.

Dad knew mama's milk was an important part of raising children, even without the help of  lactation consulting  (which was pretty much unheard of even in the 90's).  I didn't need a consultant; I had my Dad and Grandma.   Some dads get the hibi-gebes about all of that, but Dad was just plain-old supportive.  And that can be awkward, but it doesn't need to be.

My Grandma said that I had good quality milk like she did, and she often reminisced about feeding her nephew, Tommy as the same time she was feeding Dad.  And I remember wishing I had another baby to feed--just to help me manage the surplus!  So, yes, we both had "butter-cream" fed babies.  And anyone who knew "jabba the hut".. i.e. Jamie would probably agree that there was no lack of nutrition there.

So, to make sure the cow was content, I assumed princess status rather naturally.  Grandma came over and helped me iron the clothes and rocked baby Jamie while I rested.  It was a great arrangement.  Finally, Jamie took "lap status" until she had other great-grandchildren.  Altogether, she had 8 great-grandchildren.

Her youngest two grandchildren are not married yet, and one of them is Hudson's age.  But she was as close to her grandchildren as they allowed her to be a part of their lives.  I know she cherished each one.

She had three sons: Terry, Gene and Rick.  My Dad, Terry, was the oldest.  And all three, in their own way, were actively involved with Grandma up until the time she passed.  And I haven't heard much about how my cousins are faring, but I know my brother, Tony, is feeling the loss deeply.

I've written all of these posts from my personal perspective--highlighting my own memories and interactions with Grandma, but I am sure my brother could write a novel of all of his highlights.
And maybe he will... Tone?

So, I'll close for now.  To have a great grandma is one thing, but to write about her and celebrate her life is another.

-just sayin.


Barefoot Hippie Girl said...

I've enjoyed your beautiful posts about your grandma. I am praying for you. May God continue to grant you peace that passeth understanding.

Mrs. Santos said...

Thank you for sharing. I just recently came home from a short but long overdue visit to my grandma. This was very touching.

Mrs. Parunak said...

Thanks for your great stories and your testimony of peace. It's amazing how when we think about something in advance, we never know just what an outpouring of grace the Lord is going to give us when we actually walk through the hard thing.

guitar_girl714 said...

Love this post about your Grandmother, thanks for sharing! Made me think of all the great times I have had with mine :)