Monday, November 5, 2012

Regular oddities

It's been a week.

Something strange has been happening for over a week around here.

I've alluded to it in previous posts, but now it's time to deal with it.

We are living in a danger zone, and something is attacking us.

Can you guess?

That's right.  It's the birds.  The avian army.

It's started with the attack bird from this summer.  After he met his untimely (ahem) demise, a new general attended his post.

A bright, vivacious, but somewhat deluded, cardinal has assumed the jurisdiction.

His attack starts as the sun comes up.  He backs up and plunges forward into the window pane once every 45 seconds.

As soon as he goes delirious, he takes a break at the feeder.    I attempt to praise him for doing what birds are supposed to do--eat bird seed at a feeder.

He isn't listening.  He's just regaining consciousness so he can try to plummet the walls of infinity (i.e. the window) one more time.

And it wouldn't be such a big deal if it were just happening for an afternoon or something.

But no.  This has been going on for 9 days running.  I have no doubt that if I get up before sunrise tomorrow, I will be enjoying my coffee with my familiar companion, the insane, kamakazi cardinal.

And the family has had various ways of dealing with this drama.

Daddy: "Is it possible for birds to get mad cow disease?"

Male child: "Why haven't we shot him yet?"

And  on and on.

And then I have this crazy side of me that wonders what would happen if, on his rearing back to attempt another dive in, I reached around and opened the window full throttle??

He would be all like.. Dude!  I'm in heaven.    This really IS as awesome as I thought it would be!

And he's flapping around here--all crazy like-- until he realizes that all the cool bird seed is out there and so are the mama cardinal wannabes.

So. No.  I won't do it.  I won't let that bird in, even though he is all bent to get in here.

And just like we bust our noses toward aimless things (repeatedly), it is God's mercy that does not open the window and let us get to them.

And even though I want to shoot the dumb bird, I won't.  I just won't.


Herding Grasshoppers said...

Thanks for the morning chuckle!

Julie G

Jessie said...

We had a robin go crazy on us like that for a couple weeks last spring/summer. I think it correlated with his babies hatching, maybe? At any rate, it was sunup to sundown for probably three weeks, and then all of a sudden he just stopped. Crazy bird. I laughed out loud at the image of you opening the window and letting your bird in. The window our bird was attacking doesn't open, so that wasn't an option here, but what a surprise that would've been to him, haha. Probably for the best to keep the birds out though. :) Good luck surviving your attacker.

Mrs. Parunak said...

Crazy. I hope your bird gets a clue one of these days and moves on.

Taffi G said...

Hi, this is an old post I realise- but having just coming across your blog (and reading the posts backwards lol!) I saw this one and felt I should comment.

We get a lot of birds doing this where I live and there is a couple of ways to stop them. One way is to hang some screwed up aluminium foil around the window they do it to (this also works to stop birds eating the fruit on the trees if you hang a heap in the tree)

Another way is to get window stickers shaped like birds that are bigger than them (or simply cut a bird shape out of paper/cardboard and sticky tape it to the window). They will be scared of going near the bigger bird.

Lastly, you can buy some window stickers that are a bit more stylish and decorate your window so it's less reflective.

Basically birds dive bomb at windows because they can see another bird in it, but they don't realise it's themselves... so being territorial they try to attack the other bird.