Monday, March 17, 2014

Post-homeschooling-mommy-syndrome

They told me it was coming.

I didn't believe them.  No.  I have plenty of hobbies.  Plenty of friends.  A great marriage. It's not my struggle.

But then it happened.

I woke up one day and noticed the homeschooling journey was at its tail end.  At first, there really is relief.  Wow.  I did it.  I really did it.

I don't know about the rest of you, but it was a journey and a half.  I never regret a minute of it.  I'll never say it was easy.  And I could probably have what they would say was a "successful experience" in that my children are finding their post-high school academic journeys rather naturally.  They are forming friendships and pursuing things that are valuable.  I have no regrets.  I also have no regrets about our youngest child being in a private school.  It was God's path for her.

At this time of reflection, it's not about the kids.  No, it's about mommy.

For those who haven't homeschooled, let me describe to you what is going on in the lives of mothers everywhere who are homeschooling.

First of all, a decision to hand over your home, your schedule, your desires, your free time and your ambitions needs to be made.  At first, it is a jolt to your system, but eventually the difficult becomes routine.

The all-encompassing nature of this lifestyle can be overwhelming at times.  The sheer drive, energy, and ambition it takes to pull this off is all-consuming.  It makes you physically, mentally, and spiritually attuned to the very pulse of the child and the home.  It takes every ounce of energy to keep it together, and yet.. it happens every. single. day.   Now multiply that by weeks, months.. years.

If you count preschool as our first year and this as our last year, it looks like 19 years total.  (And Nathanael will continue to be homeschooled for his last two years of high school, but he will be taking classes at a local college)

O.K. Call it 20 years.  That's a serious chunk of my life.   Yes, I think I am ready to retire.

Which brings up a heartfelt question that I have been praying about all year.

WHAT IS NEXT, Lord???

You guys know me.  I am not the "curl up on the couch with a good book" for the rest of my life kind of gal.  But reading books is helping me figure things out.

For those of you who can just kick back and relax, I envy you.  I don't enjoy relaxing. I have to be doing something.  And not just nonsense.    But what??  WHAT?

So, admitting you have a problem is the first step to solving it.

In this case, I'm naming the problem.  I have PHMS.  not PMS, cuz I'm too old for that.  No.  It is "Post-homeschooling-mommy-syndrome"


If you've had it, survived it and are now doing something you love, tell me about it in the comments!





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