Monday, March 10, 2014

refining the vision

A lot of people in "regular life" have asked me if there is any progress on the vision/ dream to help kids in the Rockford area.  And there has been.

It is with me.  When we step back and realize how ill-equipped we are in our own strength, in own talents, resources, personality, and time, it really makes you appreciate how big God is.

People who are naturally gifted are often the last ones to think they need God.  They are often the last ones to humble themselves and reach out for help.  Not that I think my "abundance of gifts" are on par with others that I have met, but the pitfalls of these individuals are currently the same as my own.

The bottom line is this: I need God.

I am in the process of learning faith, leadership, service, and care for others by (praying about) working with an organization that does all of these things and more.  Without naming the organization, I am so thankful that such organizations still exist in this day of materialism and consumerism.  This group seeks to train families in biblical hospitality as well as care for the modern day "orphans and widows" of our country.  So far, I have not found one item that I disagree with on their mission statement or their practice of faith.

If God ever wants to use me in starting any project (big or small) I would love to learn leadership by submission; success through servanthood; confidence through humility; and friendships by kindred spirit.

In an informal interview setting, I laid out what I consider to be my weaknesses and what others have criticized me for (in the past) rather than try let them figure it out on their own.  Yes, I do get criticism.  Yes, I have people who do not like me and even call me "unruly".  They ought to know this. What can I say? My unruliness included things like wanting to help families by sometimes giving them advice (that they didn't want to hear)  and  giving my prayer requests (out loud) at prayer meeting. I've been tempted to want to raise my hand in worship, but I know I'd thrown out on my can for such nonsense, so I sit on them, just in case they go up.  Don't laugh.  This stuff really happens! (or has happened, as the case may be!)

I feel like life is a no-notice check-ride (borrowed from my husband's pilot days), and we need to be ready to give an account--even at the hand of our enemies, if possible.

And in this frustrating adventure of serving the needs of people, I have found that if I let people's criticisms dictate my future actions, I will be holed up, balled up, snarled up into a non-functional person.  In the words of an epic poet, Sweet Brown, "ain't nobody got time for dat.."

So, yes.  God is moving forward with the vision.  And if it is really of Him, perhaps when someone is qualified to lead the charge of carrying this out, they will let me join them in the journey.  In the meantime, I am in the school of learning much under godly leadership.

If the next couple of months go well, I'll be glad to share with you more details of what God is doing in these areas.  But for now, I am so content and at peace with this next phase of the journey.  It's so interesting how God works.  Those of us who have the same burdens eventually find each other, regardless of what churches we attend on Sundays.  I, personally, love to see churches come together into a bigger vision--especially something that is so desperately needed in our city of Rockford.

God has given me a bigger and bigger heart for Rockford--even beyond what I can do or see from my own little sphere.  And for that-- I am truly thankful.  


Herding Grasshoppers said...

Oh Jena, i can't wait to hear how this all unfolds!


Laura Santos said...

Awesome! I'm so excited things are moving His timing. I raise my hands in church (a hymns only, hands are not for praising church) and also commit the unruly act of clapping or thanking God out loud when the offertory music is a special blessing to me. These last few years have been so full of pain and healing that I feel free to ignore nonsense fears and restrictions and be who I am.

I can't wait to see what God does through you! "For ye see your calling, brethren, how that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called"

Jena Webber said...

Laura Santos: I think we are on the same page. As soon as there is pain involved, we stop trying to please others and only the one who has given us comfort.