After 2 years, things I don't know about blogging..

After 2 years and 463 posts, things I still don't know about blogging..

This is embarrassing. Have I really written..... that many posts?

And after all of that, I feel like I am just getting started. Even so, I'm having a blast, meeting a lot of cool people (especially the ones that are like me..) and trying to justify my reasons for writing my head off, exposing my soul and my new hairdos, all for a laugh and the feeling of accomplishment. And if there's anyone new out there and thinks that I should know something about blogging, I am here to tell you that there is PLENTY that I do not know.

So, without further ado, may I proudly present all things I do not know about blogging:

1) What people want to read. If there is a delicate balance out there, it is finding what you want to write about in relation to what people want to read.

So, even though I haven't figured out what people want to read, I figured out what I want to read, or more specifically what I really do not want to read.

What I do not like reading: straight advice in a shmarmy (like that word?) harmy kind of way.. You know the kind of blog I am talking about. The aren't you so glad you finally arrived here because I have all the answers kind of blog. Really. It's nauseating. Unfortunately, that is the way I started too. Really lame. I could link you to one of my earlier posts, but then I'd embarrass myself. And I'm not in the mood for that right now. So, ahem.. We'll move on.

2) What people like to comment on. Seriously, some times I barely hit "publish" because I am sure this is a real looser of a post, and then BAM! My inbox is gloriously chock full of comments that I can hardly wait to read. It astounds me. Here I am frothing at the mouth, so excited to read them all.. and I remember that I thought this was a real looser post.

3) What brings people out of the woodwork. Sometimes people will comment and say "I've been hiding in the woodwork, and I've just decided to comment" and I'm thinking: "Dude! What took you so long? You know, I visit the blogs of people who comment..." I'm thinking that Gary Smalley needs to invent a new love language called "comments"--whadduyathink?

4) What a good balance of blogging time and real life activities are. Although sometimes the mere growl of my stomach or the buzzing of the dryer does not even make me budge from the computer, the Holy Spirit convicts me that "enough is enough"...

5) What makes some blogs that don't seem that great attract 567 followers in the first week..

I think they pay people to follow them or something. I've read the content. Nothing special. The giveaways? the what? See, I don't get it. But the Pioneer Woman? O.K. I get it. Thankfully, there is justice in the world.

6) How some people claim to make money off of blogging. It's a lame way to make money, if you ask me. There has to be a higher purpose out there, rather than money. If you want to compete with the big dogs for high traffic, go ahead. But the truth is that there are so many blogs and twitter-ers out there vying for everyone's traffic. I'd rather have 10 regulars who brighten my day with a funny comment than 17 million followers. Not that I do not appreciate getting a check occasionally from ads, there's just got to be MORE driving you than money.

6) Twitter. Yes, I know I'm on twitter. But I don't get it. I don't love it. I have ?? how many followers? So, they can "say" to someone that they have so many.. etc. etc. Still not sure what the purpose is. Ten years from now they will say it was the biggest joke of my age group during this phase of history.

7) Techie stuff. There's a ton of techie stuff out there that I still do not get--too many to list here. Even though I have learned a ton of stuff, I still would love to learn how to cross out a word and put a link on comments better.. General stuff. For the most part, I'm glad non-techies can blog, or I'd be in a world of hurt.

8) Lists, awards, memes, contests, and the like. Quite honestly, I'd like to just "write" and have it all be wonderful and ditch the linking lists, pass this award, enter this meme, or this contest thingy. It just seems to be the only way to get new followers etc. I'm still undecided about how I feel about this issue. Who knows? Maybe for my third year of blogging, I'll have ditched all of that and not feel like I'm jipping anyone. Then again, how do I make new friends?

9) Posts written in 20 minutes flat.. (I think my record is 13 minutes) can generate any amount of comments, cohesion and decent back track. Call me a speed writer, I guess. If I were more serious about this, I probably could do a much better job. Much apologies to my audience. But truthfully, if I had to agonize over it, there would be no blogging, posting, commenting. nothing. nada. Nope. Some day I'll grow up and be a real writer. Until then, it's just another year of blitzing mama, writer non-extraordinaire.

And so that concludes my non-knowledge, but it does not presuppose that everything I have not mentioned has clear cerebral activity or a working knowledge therein. (my disclaimer)