Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Driven to be kinda-good..

It just so happens that a local health club, Peak Fitness, is hosting a pilates training class this weekend. It's the Physical Mind Institute/also known as "the Method". Pilates training is never cheap. Even the most basic levels are $40o.00. Even though I've been teaching mat pilates since 2007, I still look forward to learning new things! And yes, I was able to scrape together the funds for the class.

Most pilates teachers make money-- a lot of money. I'm just in a place right now that I can't be at the commitment level to actually make money in anything whether it's blogging, pilates teaching, or English teaching. Basically, all of these creative outlets are just that--creative outlets.

Half of me says: "Girl! If you just focus on ONE thing, you could do well in it! You could have your own studio. You could train others and help people.. etc."

And then the other half says, "At what price?" It not only costs money but TIME to do WELL in anything.

And what's wrong with just being an organizing mommy?

I can be kinda good in just a few things and eliminate the expectations from the outside world.

When a person pursues goals with enough passion to be really good at them, they risk the possibility of being mediocre in the things that really matter. Which, by the way, is a constant internal battle going on in my head.

I'm such a driven person that I have a really hard time accepting "kind of good" in anything--whether it's blogging, pilates training, cooking, sewing/ designing, or organizing. Do you guys get that way? And I see it in other people's lives through their blogs. They have to be "fantastic" at blogging. or cooking. or whatever. And why?

I think I know why. Being a simple homemaker and mommy is a hard job, with very few rewards and perks. I know I've been there. In fact, I'm still there. It was worse though.

I think the hardest time of my life was when the older four were: 7, 5, 3, and 1. The older kids needed school. The laundry needed doing, and the meals needed cooking. The one year old needed nursing, and the mommy needed sleeping. And yet, even though I was a wimp and cried and complained most of the time during those years, I lived through it. I can't say that anyone has asked me to write a training manual for mothers surviving those years, but I did make it through.

I can hardly believe that was over 10 years ago. And to think that I had a mini-meltdown yesterday because I felt like the years went too fast, and I hardly remember what happened. Through panic-striken fear, a nagging question haunted me: "Did I spend ENOUGH time with my kids?"

And the Lord reminded me that I really didn't do anything else other than spend time with my kids. It really wasn't physically possible to spend any more time with them than I did.

And that was the only thought that gave me peace.

Yes, Lord. I will be kinda-good in everything else, so I can be a really good mommy and wife.
Thanks for reminding me.


Mrs. Parunak said...

Amen! Amen! Just the reminder I needed today!

Becky said...

Wonderful thought. Here, here!!

sara said...

very nice indeed. said...

Thanks for this encouragement. Reminds me of the verse:

And he said unto them, Ye are they which justify yourselves before men; but God knoweth your hearts: for that which is highly esteemed among men is abomination in the sight of God. Luke 16:15

But I think you are more than "kinda-good" at many inspire me all the time.

Braley Mama said...

Praise Him for those reminders when we begin to freak:)

Kelly L said...

Great post! Thank you

Love to you

Collette@Jesuslovesmums said...

This is an encouragement to me who has two young children! I really enjoy quilting and a few folk have said I should sell them. But I think that would take the enjoyment out of them. It is my creative outlet too!
Love Collette xx

DarcyLee said...

Fabulous post! For me, just being organized is a great feat, and I have had a few mini-meltdowns remembering how my girls used to depend on me for everything. Have fun with your new class.

Tammy said...

Thank you for the reminder. :)

Emily said...

I feel like you are saying that if you excel at something other than being a mommy and wife it is at the expense of being a good mommy and wife. I think that is simply not the case. You do a lot of things, pilates, blogging, teaching, and that is wonderful for you and a great example to your kids. If you chose to do only one, you would certainly excel, but it wouldn't mean you weren't as devoted to your family.

The dB family said...

Wonderful post! It does go very fast!


Herding Grasshoppers said...


I think the crux of it is this...

"When a person pursues goals with enough passion to be really good at them, they risk the possibility of being mediocre in the things that really matter."

I think it was Elisabeth Elliott who said, "No success in life can compensate for failure in the home."

And, besides that, when I find myself desiring to excel at something I have to step back and ask myself why. Certainly there are things I DO need to work harder at - to do better. But why? Is it something God asks of me? Something that will benefit my family and relationships? Or something that I think will make me, somehow, "better"? Just where am I finding my self-worth? My identity?

Okay, now my brain is about to explode. (I'm not usually given to much introspection.)

Great post.


Jena Webber said...

Thanks everyone..

Emily, if YOU were to pursue these things, YOU would be balanced and not let your mommying slip. I, on the other hand...

Let's just say "balance" is a foreign word in my vocabulary. I'm having the battle and hoping to win!

Emily said...

I'm not sure I could balance activites outside of the home well, like pilates and teaching. I think I am blessed that God has led me to interests that I can do at home with my kids. We certainly agree on the point that being an excellent mommy and wife is most important and we must always be careful not to let anything detract from that.